A Journey (or: How I Punched Varian Wrynn in his Smug Face, Whilst Naked!)

Last weekend my guild decided to recreate a very successful event we ran last year, where we played games of Marco Polo in major cities. Its a really fun game to play and I thoroughly recommend it. This year we decided to make it extra interesting by setting the games within the cities of the opposing faction. That’s right, a bunch of 10-15 Horde were running around the Alliance cities, not only hiding from each other but the Allies. Except its quite hard to stay hidden (or alive!) when you are PvP flagged and have to yell ‘Polo’ every time you hear ‘Marco’. Sadly I didn’t manage to take too many screenshots of this event, because I was too busy trying to avoid being ganked or from laughing over Mumble. I did manage to snap this great picture of myself and guild leader Nich (in Alliance Draenei form) doing a naked totem disco which transcended our racial differences.

So, as mentioned this event was an awesome success, but it was only the prelude to this story. The story begins the other night when I logged back in for the first time following the event. I had logged out in the water under Stormwind bridge, and for a moment it took me a while to remember why I was a) naked and b) in hostile territory! The immediate course of action was obvious: to see how far I could streak through Stormwind before I was stopped by the guards.

The answer to this question was…. well not that far. Amusingly enough it was the guards who killed me, the alliance players were very nice and cheered me on!

I died half-way through the trade district, not great, but provided great amusement to the locals! About 50 people sent me /hugs, /love and /kisses. In fact I was suddenly inundated by messages showing me Allies gaining the Make Love, Not Warcraft achievement! At this point I was just loling to myself whilst waiting for the release timer to run out. However then Ercles, friend and fellow blogger, presented me with a challenge: Run to King Varian Wrynn whilst naked.

I immediately took this challenge to heart and it provided myself, and probably a number of alliance players, with a good hour of amusement. Of course, this challenge was not as easy as it sounds. My first problem was that its such a damn long corpse run to get back into Stormwind.

Seriously?

There was also the fact that whilst most Allies were very supportive,  there were a few who took advantage of my nakedness to score some easy pvp kills. My first run back I made it about 3 seconds before being killed again!

However I persevered, and managed to get deep into Stormwind with only relatively few tries. Onlookers, such as this pirate gentleman in the pink shirt were amused, or possibly confused.

Finally, after about 45 minutes and many gruesome naked deaths,  I made it to Stormwind Keep. Wrynn’s time had come!

With nothing but a modest  loincloth to protect my dignity, I charged the bastion of human civilisation. Many guards descended upon me, but they could not withstand my righteous fury! Plus I think some were uncomfortable touching me…

In the end, it took Wrynn himself to put me down, slaying me with one swing of his blade. Still, I am immensely proud to say that I first managed to land one good punch on his stupid face! Victory was mine!

Having completed this valiant effort on behalf of the Horde, I made one last (long!) corpse run and resurrected in an antechamber to the throne room. Unfortunately this attracted the attention of more guards. I managed to despatch them easily however, and then resorted to fisticuffs with a passing Bishop. Because sometimes, when you’re naked in someone else’s palace, you just have to punch a holy man.

I had now claimed a small piece of Stormwind Keep as Horde territory. Content that my work was done, I then proceeded to celebrate with a victorious naked totem dance, as is traditional amongst my people. It was a good day.